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Sexy Text Messages And Jokes
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English
American students say : people who never experience good sex and do not perform
well in bed, usually read their SMS messages with their right hand.
English Its been a rough day. I got up this morning, put on
a shirt N a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase N
the handle came off. I'm afraid 2 go 2 the bathroom.
English I do not have the muscles of Stallone, I am not as
handsome as Brad Pitt, I am not as strong as
Schwarzenegger, but I can lick as good as Lassie!!!
English GUY: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. GAL: If I
see you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
English A man was looking at a painting 4 a long time of a naked
woman with leaves covering the body, he was asked what he
was doing & he answered - waitng 4 autumn.
English I hereby place u under arrest 4 violating code 69 -
distracting public with ur xtreme good looks & sex appeal,
remain silent & report 2 my bedroom.
English I once had a ONE-2-ONE night with a VIRGIN.She
teased me till i got an ERICKSON.sucked me till my face
went ORANGE till i busted my load of SEIMEN over her
NOKIAS.
English Hello! I m a little alien called Kan. I have taken the
form of a mobile
phone- your phone. And during this message I have been
having sex with
your thumb!
English Are these your eyes, I found them between my breasts
English I love the way it rubs against the soft pink flesh..
and creates a creamy foamy liquid as it thrusts in and
out, up and down... Can’t wait to brush my teeth
English I wish I were a ring Upon my girlfriend's
hand, 'Cause everytime she'd wipe her rear I'd see the
promised land...
English Sex is like pizza. When its good, its VERY GOOD.
When its bad, its Still pretty good!!
English There is Hot-sex, Fast-sex, Group-sex, Safe-sex,
Leather-sex, Telephone-sex, and for people with your face
...NO SEX !
English Sex is a sensation caused by temptation when a man
puts his location in a woman's destination. Do u get my
explanation, or do u need a demonstration?!
English Son on his honeymoon phoned his mom asking what 2
do. MOM : Put ur biggest thng on her hairiest thing. SON :
got my nose in her armpit. Now what?
English A husband was asked: Do u talk to your wife after
sex? His answer: Depends, if I can find a phone.
English Who is stronger, Man Or Woman? A: A woman bcoz she
lifts 2 mountains on her chest while a man lifts 2 stones
with the help of a crane.
English Man says to his wife: Let me take a picture of your
breasts, then I can always look at them. Wife: Let me take
a picture of you penis, I will have it enlarged.
Urdu Aurat or chayee may char qualities dekho
Tayz ho..
Garam ho..
Doodh Ziyadaa ho..
Jo raat ko sonay naa dey..
English When I was born I got the choice, or a major dick,
or a fine memory. I am not able to remember what I did
choose. .
English " if u were a drum id bang u, if u were a pig id
pork u, if u were a flower id root u, if u were a nail id
screw u, but cos ur a sweetie ill make love 2 u!
English I want to suck you... I want to lick you... I wanna move
my tongue all over you... I want to feel you in my
mouth... that's how u... eat an ice cream...
English 1 day there was tis naked man N elephant, da elephant
looks at the naked man 4 a few seconds, then ask da naked
man, 'HOW CAN U BREATH THRU THAT LITTLE THING?'
English Why do men pass gas more than women? Because women won't
shut up long enough to build up pressure.
English A cat and a rooster sat by a lake, the cat fell in
the lake, the rooster laughed! LESSON: when there's a wet
pussy, there's a happy cock! |
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