2011 Santa Banta Text Sms Messeges Jokes For Cell phone And Mobiles

English
Santa: Why Americans stop printing stamps with photo of Pamela Anderson?
Banta: Coz people started licking the wrong side of it for pasting them on the envelopes.

Banta: Kyun?
Santa: Kyunki is Cement mein jaan hai.
……………………………………………..
Urdu
Preeto: Raat ko aap peeke gutter mein gir gaye the.
Banta: Kya bataoon, sub galat sangati ka asar hai, hum 4 dost… 1 bottle, aur woh teeno kambhakt peeten nahin.
……………………………………………..
Urdu
Banta ek sadhu se bola: Baba, meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi upay batao.
Sadhu: Beta, upaay hota to main sadhu kyun banta?
……………………………………………..
Urdu
Frog: Tumhare paas dimaag nahin hai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai & jumps into the well.
Santa: Isme suicide karne waali kya baat thi.?
……………………………………………..
English
Dress code 4 a party – BLACK TIES ONLY.
Banta goes for the party & is surprised to see that the other guests are wearing SUITS also!
……………………………………………..
English
Santa was caught for speeding and went before the judge.
The judge: What’ll you take 30 days or Rs 3000.
Santa: I think I’ll take the money.
……………………………………………..
English
Santa: I kiss my wife everyday before leaving for office, what about u?
Banta: Me too, after u leave.
……………………………………………..
Urdu
A lady asked Santa: LIPTON di chah hai?
Santa replied: Mainu ta nahi hai ji, tainu hai ta lipat ja…
……………………………………………..
Urdu And English Mix
Q: Why Santa is standing below the Tube light with an open mouth.
A: Because Doctor has advised him: ‘Aaj Light Khana hai!’
……………………………………………..
English
Q: How do you recognize Santa’s son, Pappu, in School?
A: He is the one who erases the books when the teacher erases the board.
……………………………………………..
English
Santa standing on platform suddenly jumps on the railway track.
Banta: Santa u’ll die.
Santa: U’ll die bcoz haven’t u heard train is coming on platform?
……………………………………………..
English
Santa & Banta got tired of mobile & decide 2 use pigeons. 1day a pigeon reaches Banta without message. Angry Banta calls Santa!
Santa: Oye, this was a missed call.
……………………………………………..
English
Santa saw a beautiful gal… he went and smooched her.
Gal – What are you doing?
Santa: Law, 4th semester from Punjab University.
……………………………………………..
Urdu And English Mix
Santa suffering from constipation, sitting on toilet seat: Ooonh, oooonh, oohh…. nee aaja marjaniye main tenu khan ta ni laga.
……………………………………………..
Urdu
Banta: J tu dasde ki is bag vich ki hai tan sare ande tere, j tu dasde kine ne tan 8 de 8 tere, te j tu dasde ki kidhe ne tan oh murgi v teri.
Santa: Koi hint?
……………………………………………..
English
Banta: Name the 3 fastest means of communication.
Santa: Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman
……………………………………………..
English
Banta was driving down the highway past a sign that said, “Clean Toilets 8 Kms.”
By the time he drove eight kms he had cleaned 14 toilets.
……………………………………………..
English
Banta: What’s the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?
Santa: The taste.
……………………………………………..
English
Jeeto: Why do Farts stink?
Santa: So that Deaf people can enjoy them too!
……………………………………………..
English
Santa: I’m a proud father. My son is in medical college.
Banta: What’s he studying?”
Santa: He’s not studying, they are studying him!
……………………………………………..
Urdu
At a football match ground. Santa: Ye log ball nu foot kyun maar rahe ne?
Boy: Goal karan lai.
Santa: Paar ball tan pehlan hi gol hai hor kinni gol karangey.
……………………………………………..
Urdu/Punjabi
Q: A Man asked Santa, “Akal badhi ya bhains? ”
A: Santa bola, “Pehle date of birth to batao.”
……………………………………………..
English
Q: Why was Santa writing the exam near the door?
A: Because it was an entrance exam.