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Santa Banta Text Messages And Jokes
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English Pappu: Dad what’s Sex? Santa gets tensed but explains everything. Pappu: But dad how do I write all that in this small box of school admission form? Urdu Santa: Is operation se mujhe kuchh ho gaya to isi doctor se shadi kar Lena. Jeeto: Aise kyo kah rahe ho? Santa: Doctor se badla Lene ka yehi 1 rasta hai! Urdu Interviewer: Aap kisi MAHILA mein sabse pehle kya dekhte hain? Santa: O ji, wo is baat par depend karta hai ki woh aa rahi hai ya jaa rahi hai? Santa: What is the similarity between Bill Gates n Me? Banta: Don’t know. Santa: Well... He never comes to my house & I never go 2 his! English Santa & Banta are walking down the road when Banta says: Look at that dog with one eye! Santa covers one of his eyes and says: Where? English Girl: Will you love me after marriage also? Santa: This depends on your husband, if he allows me. English Jeeto to Santa: Stop looking at girls, u r married now. Santa: U mean if I am on diet, I can’t look at the menu also? English Santa to Banta: Name 5 animals living in the water? Banta: 1 Frog. Santa: Theek hai hor das? Banta: Frog da praah, bhen, piyo te maa. Urdu Banta: Meri biwi mujhe chod ke chali gayi. Santa: Tu uska khyal nahi rakhta hoga. Banta: Arre yaar, Sagi behan ki tarah rakhta tha. English Santa drinking heavily in bar gets up n farts loudly. Man next 2 him: Excuse me, but u just farted before my wife. Santa: Sorry, I didn't know it was her turn Urdu Santa: Qutub Minar kahan hai? Pappu: Pata nahi. Santa: Kabhi ghar se nikla karo. Pappu: Ram Lal kaun hai? Santa: Pata nahi. Pappu: Kabhi Ghar me bhi raha karo. English Heights of Friendship: Santa commiting suicide, someone asked the reason. He said: My wife ran with my friend and I can't live without my friend. Urdu Santa proposing a girl: Darling kya tum mujse shadi karogi? Girl: Tameez se baat karo. Santa: Behan ji, kya aap mujhse shaadi karoge? Urdu Inspector to Santa: Faansi se pehle, bata teri aakhri ichha kya hai?Santa: Mere pair upar aur sier neeche kar k faansi de do! Urdu Banta: Saadi teacher kehndi hai ke MAJJ da taja dudh peen nal dimag wadhda hai. Santa: Oye je ajehi gall hundi taan apna katta ajj IAS officer lageya hunda! English Santa: I tried ur number so many times, it always said 'Switched Off'!" Banta: Nooo, it's my HELLO TUNE! Urdu Beggar: Oh sundari, andha hoon, paanch rupya de de. Santa to his wife: De de, De de, tujhe sundari bola hai to har haal main ye andha hai. Urdu Santa: Oye tera vyah ho gya? Banta: Haan. Santa: Kuri naal? Banta: Oye munde naal v hunda hai kya? Santa: Haan... Meri bhain da hoya si ! Urdu A crow shits on a Banta. Preeto gives tissue paper to him. Banta: Koi phayda nahin, kauwa toh ud gaya! Urdu Banta: Jab main paida hua tha to military walon ne 21 topein chalayeen thi. Santa: Kamaal hai ! Sab ka nishana chook gaya ? Urdu Santa meets his old friend. Santa: A & B, A & B, A & B, A & B, A & B. Friend: Oye, iska matlab? Santa: Kuch nahin yaar, I mean long time no C. Urdu Santa: Drinking n driving dono nalo naal nai ho sakde. Banta: Y? Santa: Je speed breaker aa gaya taa peg dul jau. Urdu Santa bar vich ro reha si. Bartender: Kyon ro rahe ho? Santa: Hor ki karan? Main jis kudi da naa bhulna chahunda si usda naam yaad hi nahin aa reha. Urdu Phone ki ring baji. Santa: Phone mere liye ho to kehna mein ghar pe nahin hoon. Jeeto phone pe: Wo ghar pe hain. Santa: Maine mana kiya that... Jeeto: Phone mere liye tha! Urdu Santa to a doc: Apne nurse bahut achchi rakhi hai, uska haath lagtey hi mein theek ho gaya. Doc: Jaanta hoon, thappad ki awaaz mujhe bhi sunai di thi. English Santa was writing the passive voice of 'I made a mistake.' He wrote: I was made by a mistake. English Santa to his son: I think it's right time we should talk about sex! Pappu: Sure dad, what do u wanna know...? Urdu Santa: Oh yaar main badi mushkil mein hoon. Meri biwi mujhse ek pappi ka Ek rupeya leti hai. Banta: Oh yaar tu lucky hai, auron se to woh 5 rupaye leti hai. Urdu Santa to Banta: Main apna purse ghar bhool aaya, mainu 1000 Rs chahide si. Banta: Dost hi dost de kam aunda hai, le 10 Rs, riksha kar te purse le aa. | |||
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