Dirty And Other Text Sms Messages And Jokes For Mobile And Cell Phone

English
A boy tells his mom that he seen a boy & a girl sitting at the top of the roof & kissing. Then his mom tell him that they are gonna get married.
Then the boy asks his mom: When is dad gonna marry the maid?

The other Sardar was much educated & answered “Yes I am relaxing ” Our Sardar slapped him & said, “Salay, Sab tere Ko wahah doond rahe hai aur tu Yahaan aaram kar raha hai.”
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English
Santa & Banta were walking in the highlands then suddenly Santa fell down in a deep hole.
Banta: Are you ok?
Santa: Fine thanks!
Banta: Did you break anything?
Santa: No, there’s nothing down here!
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English
some may find it SAD
Can’t believe after all this SHIT that they have been through,
they are still together…..
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English
This messsage was created by an INDIAN, on a KOREAN phone, smuggled by a PAKISTANI…..this is globalization
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English
J
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WHO ?
your bums…!!
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English
Defn. of Globalisation
Princess Diana’s Death-

A English princess, with an EGYPTIAN boyfriend, crashes in a FRENCH tunnel, driving a GERMAN car, with a DUTCH engine, driven by a BELGIAN driver, who was drunk on SCOTTISH whisky, followed by ITALIAN papparazi, on JAPANESE motocycles, treated by an AMERICAN doctor, using BRAZILIAN medicine.
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English
LIVE WITH NO EXCUSES AND LOVE WITH NO REGRETS WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU A 100 REASONS TO CRY, SHOW LIFE THAT YOU HAVE A 1000 REASONS TO SMILE.
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English
A boy tells his mom that he seen a boy & a girl sitting at the top of the roof & kissing. Then his mom tell him that they are gonna get married.
Then the boy asks his mom: When is dad gonna marry the maid?
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English
A young businessman had just started his own firm. He rented a beautiful office & had it furnished with antiques. Sitting there, he saw a man come into the office. Wishing to appear the hot shot, the businessman picked up the phone & started to pretend he had a big deal working.
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English
He threw huge figures around & made giant commitments. Finally he hung up and asked the visitor, “Can I help you?”
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English
The Visitor said, “Yeah, I’ve come to activate your phone lines.”
????al ?a?¢?al.
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English
This one is Ultimate… (If u understand it)
A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, “Wanna hear a Sardar joke?”

In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, “Before you tell that joke, you should know something.”
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English
Our bartender is Sardar, the bouncer is Sardar. I’m a 6′ tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6’2″, weighs 225, and he’s a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6’5″ pushing 300 and he’s a wrestler. Each one of US is a Sardar. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?”

The blind guy says, “Nah, not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.”
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English
Pappu: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.
Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.
Pappu: But mom, I was sitting on daddy’s lap.
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English
Take a pencil and paper,” the teacher said, “and write an essay with the title ‘If I Were a Millionaire’”
Everyone but Philip, who leaned back with arms folded, began to write furiously.
“What’s the matter,” the teacher asked. “Why don’t you begin?”
“I’m waiting for my secretary,” he replied.
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English
oneday all sardars want to prove the world that they are not fools. So, they call 3 gr8 mathematicians and a very “intelligent” sardar for a quiz. its like, the mathematicians will be asking that sardar 3 mathematical additions and the sardar will be answering “correctly” to prove that all sardars are bright. So, hundreds of sardars came to watch the show. The quiz began..
QM: Ok sardar wht is 36+44
sardar: 60.
QM: wrong..
AUDIENCE( all sardars): ONE MORE CHANCE, ONE MORE CHANCE

QM: Ok let me give a simpler one..wht is 12 + 12
sardar: 20
QM: wrong..
AUDIENCE( all sardars): shout ONE MORE CHANCE, ONE MORE CHANCE

QM: Ok let me give a even more simple one..wht is 2+2
sardar: 4
AUDIENCE( before QM says anything): ONE MORE CHANCE, ONE MORE CHANCE…audience proved themselves that they are….sardars..
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English
Interview….

OFFICER—————-WHAT IS YOUR NAME ?

CANDIDATE—————–M P. SIR

OFFICER—————-TELL ME PROPERLY

CANDIDATE—————MOHAN PAL SIR

OFFICER————–YOUR FATHER’S NAME ?

CANDIDATE—————-M P. SIR

OFFICER————-WHAT DOES THAT MEAN ?

CANDIDATE————-MANMOHAN PAL SIR

OFFICER————-YOUR NATIVE PLACE

CANDIDATE————–M P. SIR

OFFICER————IS IT MADHYA PRADESH ?

CANDIDATE————-NO, MANI PAL SIR

OFFICER————WHAT IS YOUR QUALIFICATION ?

CANDIDATE————-M P. SIR

OFFICER————(ANGRILY) WHAT IS IT ?

CANDIDATE————METRIC PASS

OFFICER————-WHY DO YOU NEED A JOB ?

CANDIDATE————M P. SIR

OFFICER————AND WHAT DOSE THAT MEAN ?

CANDIDATE————-MONEY PROBLEM SIR

OFFICER————DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY

CANDIDATE————-M P. SIR

OFFICER————EXPLAIN YOURSELF CLEARLY

CANDIDATE———-MAGNANIMOUS PERSONALITY SIR

OFFICER————-THIS DISCUSSION IS NOWHERE, YOU MAY GO NOW

CANDIDATE———- -M P. SIR

OFFICER—————-WHAT is it NOW

CANDIDATE————-My Performance….?

OFFICER—————-M P!!!!

CANDIDATE————WHAT IS THAT SIR

OFFICER————–MENTAL PROBLEM
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English
Marriage is not a word. It’s a sentence… (a life sentence!).
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English
Marriage is a 3-ring circus – engagement ring, wedding ring and Suffering.
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English
A happy marriage is a matter of give and take; the husband gives and the wife takes.
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Urdu
Aasman main jitnay sitaray hain
Ankhon Main utnay Isharey hain
Samundar Main jitnay kinaray hain
utnay screw dheelay tumharey hain
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English
when i was born shaitan said oh shit! another good soul on earth..
but when u were born Shaitan said oh shit!

COMPETETION….!!!!
HaHaHaHaHaHa
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Urdu
Tum ‘Dil’ mango dain gay
‘Jan’ mango dain gay
‘Jism’ mango wo bhe day dain gay
‘Aanhain’ mango dain gay
‘Dharkan’ mango yeh bhe de dain gay
kyoon k in pancho ke Cd hamaray Gher per hai
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English

2 Lovers plan to suicide. Boy jumped first, Girl closed her eyes & return back saying love is blind. Boy in air opened his parachute saying love never dies. From that day onwards people started saying LADIES FIRST.