I’m fat. I’m too skinny. I’d be happy if I were
taller, shorter, had curly hair, straight hair, a smaller nose, bigger
muscles, longer legs.
Do any of these statements sound familiar? Are you used to putting yourself
down? If so, you’re not alone. As a teen, you’re going through a ton of
changes in your body. And as your body changes, so does your image of
yourself. Lots of people have trouble adjusting, and this can affect their
self-esteem.
Why Are Self-Esteem and Body Image Important?
Self-esteem is all about how much people value themselves, the pride they
feel in themselves, and how worthwhile they feel. Self-esteem is important
because feeling good about yourself can affect how you act.A person who has
high self-esteem will make friends easily, is more in control of his or her
behavior, and will enjoy life more.
Body image is how a person feels about his or her own physical appearance.
For many people, especially people in their early teens, body image can be
closely linked to self-esteem. That’s because as kids develop into teens,
they care more about how others see them.
What Influences a Person’s Self-Esteem?
Puberty
Some teens struggle with their self-esteem when they begin puberty because
the body goes through many changes. These changes, combined with a natural
desire to feel accepted, mean it can be tempting for people to compare
themselves to others. They may compare themselves to the people around them
or to actors and celebs they see on TV, in movies, or in magazines.
But it’s impossible to compare ourselves to others because the changes that
come with puberty are different for everyone. Some people start developing
early; others are late bloomers. Some get a temporary layer of fat to
prepare for a growth spurt, others fill out permanently, and others feel
like they stay skinny no matter how much they eat. It all depends on how our
genes have programmed our bodies to act.
The changes that come with puberty can affect how both girls and guys feel
about themselves. Some girls may feel uncomfortable or embarrassed about
their maturing bodies. Others may wish that they were developing faster.
Girls may feel pressure to be thin but guys may feel like they don’t look
big or muscular enough.
Outside Influences
It’s not just development that affect self-esteem, though. Lots of other
factors (like media images of skinny girls and bulked-up guys) can affect a
person’s body image too.
Family life can sometimes influence a person’s self-esteem. Some parents
spend more time criticizing their children and the way they look than
praising them. This criticism may reduce a person’s ability to develop good
self-esteem.
People may also experience negative comments and hurtful teasing about the
way they look from classmates and peers. Sometimes racial and ethnic
prejudice is the source of such comments. Although these comments often come
from ignorance on the part of the person who makes them, sometimes they can
affect a person’s body image and self-esteem.
Healthy Self-Esteem
If you have a positive body image, you probably like and accept yourself the
way you are. This healthy attitude allows you to explore other aspects of
growing up, such as developing good friendships, growing more independent
from your parents, and challenging yourself physically and mentally.
Developing these parts of yourself can help boost your self-esteem.
A positive, optimistic attitude can help people develop strong self-esteem.
For example, saying, “Hey, I’m human,” instead of “Wow, I’m such a loser,”
when you’ve made a mistake. Or not blaming others when things don’t go as
expected.
Knowing what makes you happy and how to meet your goals can help you feel
capable, strong, and in control of your life. A positive attitude and a
healthy lifestyle (such as exercising and eating right) are a great
combination for building good self-esteem.
Tips for Improving Your Body Image
Some people think they need to change how they look or act to feel good
about themselves. But actually all you need to do is change the way you see
your body and how you think about yourself.
The first thing to do is recognize that your body is your own, no matter
what shape, size, or color it comes in. If you are very worried about your
weight or size, check with your doctor to verify that things are OK. But it
is no one’s business but your own what your body is like — ultimately, you
have to be happy with yourself.
Next, identify which aspects of your appearance you can realistically
change and which you can’t. Everyone (even the most perfect-seeming celeb)
has things about themselves that they can’t change and need to accept — like
their height, for example, or their shoe size.
If there are things about yourself that you want to change and can (such as
how fit you are), do this by making goals for yourself. For example, if you
want to get fit, make a plan to exercise every day and eat nutritious foods.
Then keep track of your progress until you reach your goal. Meeting a
challenge you set for yourself is a great way to boost self-esteem!
When you hear negative comments coming from within yourself, tell yourself
to stop. Try building your self-esteem by giving yourself three compliments
every day. While you’re at it, every evening list three things in your day
that really gave you pleasure. It can be anything from the way the sun felt
on your face, the sound of your favorite band, or the way someone laughed at
your jokes. By focusing on the good things you do and the positive aspects
of your life, you can change how you feel about yourself.
Where Can I Go if I Need Help?
Sometimes low self-esteem and body image problems are too much to handle
alone. A few teens may become depressed, lose interest in activities or
friends — and even hurt themselves or resort to alcohol or drug abuse. If
you’re feeling this way, it can help to talk to a parent, coach, religious
leader, guidance counselor, therapist, or an adult friend. A trusted adult —
someone who supports you and doesn’t bring you down — can help you put your
body image in perspective and give you positive feedback about your body,
your skills, and your abilities.
If you can’t turn to anyone you know, call a teen crisis hotline (check the
yellow pages under social services). The most important thing is to get help
if you feel like your body image and self-esteem are affecting your life. |